Will

The first time is always the hardest, you think of it, it's appalling, it's repulsive, it's inhumane, to say the least, and you leave it at that, but only for sometime of-course, because you're curious, and let me just say that curiosity is at its core very primordially humane, our curiosity defines us, in a way it is the very essence of '' human'', and for being curious you can never be blamed, never, period!

But curiosity is a very dangerous toy to play with, once you lose control you lose it once and for all, and it is this very curiosity that I am so vividly defending that will take you down the deepest pit if not mastered, which brings us back to the first line: because you're curious, you approach, you have to know, WHAT IS THIS? it eats you up from the inside, and you start feeling it, playing with it a bit from a safe distance, and you come close little by little, and you touch it, it is new and exciting, you can not take your hand off it, what is this magic ! and you dive into it.

The second time is a little different, you've had your time to reflect on your actions, that feeling of exploration is now gone, the excitement wavers weakly and the faults stand visibly, you should not do it, loud and clear, and with much more discernment, but still, the idea of doing it despite that rises, we are predisposed to do what we are forbidden, to challenge authority including the moral one, and to defy logic.

The second time is the determinant step in a process of deformation, a journey of degradation, from virtue to depravity because the second time is the one time you have a tangible shot at redemption, at purity, so your action at this very moment is essentially definitive as to who you are and how much of an impact will this particular practice have on your life, I really hope you will be up to the challenge, but for the sake of this article let us proceed to the third time.

The third time is the charm, you've passed your breaking point, and now you're simply doing what you want to do, the shame is of the past and virtue is volatile and manageable, your focus at this point is the practical aspects rather than the nature of the action itself, be it right or wrong you only care about doing it optimally. From this step and onto the next couple a moral rebound is unlikely, you become an actor in a very, very dark comedy, you see only details but not the whole. From this point, may God have mercy on your poor soul.

Overcoming immense odds is the biggest pay-off and the greatest joy a person can experience in life, especially if they're on a personal level, like losing weight or overcoming alcoholism, your personal, discrete achievements have an intimate quality that tastes like a heavenly elixir, because they belong to you and you alone, so even if you reach step three, four, ten or beyond, even it means that your doom is imminent and your punishment is inevitable, it also means that your victory will be even sweeter and sweeter.