Opium Dreams

Nile woke up inside a room of wooden structure. Through hazy eyes, he saw a boy sitting at the corner of the room, with a puppy on his lap. He noticed the sunlight coming through the cracks on the ceiling and from its angle, he deduced it was before noon.  Besides him on the floor was a bowl of a concoction that he did not know. The boy nodded at him and he understood that as a sign to drink. He drank and felt the flow of liquid inside his throat. It tickled a bit but quenched his thirst. He saw the boy looking at him but could not decipher his face from the distance. The boy patted the puppy's head gently with his right head. The boy kept his gaze fixed at Nile as he continued patting slowly. Nile's brows felt heavy and he dozed off. In his slumber, he sensed something familiar, an odor. Faint yet perfectly distinguished. Narjes flower extract. The smell of his mother. The scent took his by surprise and he started to look around but he could not see. It was pitch black. A stra

"Panjia still has so much to teach me" I thought, as I was looking at that most magnificent scene unfold. I was not expecting to see anything this rare so early in this journey. I arrived at Santa Laura 3 nights ago and spent most of my time on the outskirts, at a mountain monastery facing the sea. It is always a pleasure to engage in passionate conversations with bright minds, although I cherished my solitary time with the sea the most.    I took into this enterprise to combat my own hubris and to shed light on my lack of knowledge. Ever since I took into this business, the more I learned the more my ignorance seemed greater to me. I've always been ever so thankful for the opportunities that came on my way and my biggest wish is that my gratitude never diminishes in intensity.  Today I came within the walls to meet an old acquaintance at his request. He spoke vaguely about an initiative that he is planning to put forth, something about common interests. I was happy to ob

Santa Laura was a city of immaculate beauty at night. Nile especially appreciated the cobblestone buildings, illuminated by those weird crimson-red lamps with no apparent fuel nor oil. "I can see myself coming here from time to time," he thought to himself "just to enjoy this view". Since the second beast joined the fight, the balance has been shifted violently against Nile. Even after he was able to recover from the collision with the wall, he had completely unable to land any hits and has been excruciatingly struggling to avoid taking in more damage. The two beasts figured out his moves and countered with terrifying calm and efficiency. At this point, it was no longer a question of "if" but "when" will they finish him off. They did not seem to mind taking time.  A couple of jumps and kicks later, Nile found himself flying into the stem of a tree, back-first. As soon as his body made contact he heard a crackling sound and new that something in h

Today I'd like to talk about a subject of particular interest to me, charity and, more generally, gratitude.  Like me, you've all probably been raised to consider charity as both an act of kindness and pity. That people who did charitable work were, by definition, kind, but most importantly, powerful. We've all been raised to see people receiving charity as weak and pitiful. Weak because they need others, and pitiful because their state inspires pity that, in turn, incites others to give them.  This paradigm has several issues, most of which you can already detect from the previous paragraph. I am not writing this piece to analyze institutions nor to propose solutions. I will not discuss charity from political & financial spectrums and how charitable work is integrated into the tax system. I am simply writing this to share a couple of stories that made me think about the notions of "need" and "gratitude" and how we perceive them, and how that percept

The night was young and starless. A shy crescent hid behind the clouds.  In the village center, things went out of hand quickly. In no time, the entire square was empty, but for two humongous beasts and a youngster holding a scythe.  Nile soon regained his composure after having slashed the big guy. his breathing gradually slowed and his sweat evaporated. He was now calm as a monk, waiting for the two beasts to make their next move. This choice was deliberate as he wanted them both to be fully committed for the remainder of this encounter, his pride needed to be restored. In hindsight, this was a regrettable decision.  The first Cross, who by this point seemed to be the leader, was immobile. The slash from Silva made him drop his sword. He did not move; The second Cross, impassive as always, looked at Nile, still with a surprising lack of animosity, then looked at his comrade. He went next to him, picked up his sword and handed it to him. He then stepped back a little and looked at the

The sun came down, and two Cross's appeared instead of one.  This was a shock to Nile. He could not fathom how one being can exist twice, worse yet, three times. He remembered the amount of difficulty he had to endure to put one Cross down, even with immense help from the guy with the snakes and the sniper. The memory made his spine shiver a bit and he held tighter to silva for comfort. The two beasts, on the other hand, did not seem to pay particular attention to him. In fact, they did not seem to recognize him at all. They continued to advance calmly down the square. The one in the front seemed to sense the tension and looked at Nile and saw him holding Silva. He looked a bit bewildered but still uninterested.     Nile, still under a bit of shock, was convinced that he had no chance of coming out of this unscathed. That being said, he had a duty to perform. He made an implicit promise to protect the old man and he had no right to falter. He muttered a prayer and waved Silva aroun

The road to the port city was long and arduous. Winter was waning off and a hot summer was brewing in the background, but for the time being, the weather was lovely. "Perfect weather to start the journey" reflected Nile, as they crossed a small bridge. He patted his horse dearly on its mane, the horse neighed. "So you guys are a group," asked Nile. " In the loosest sense of the word, Yes" replies Zolf. "we are a group of individuals who find it easier, from a logistical point of view, to work together".  "That's a group" said Nile, impassively.  "I suppose you're right" replied Zolf, with a smile.  Zolf was riding on his trusted old horse, Nigel. He was leading them to the Rendez-Vous point, at the portal city of Santa Laura.  The gates of the city were within eyeshot. Santa Laura was the main port of the island and the major outlet to the main continent. Illegal outlets existed, mainly due to the heavy taxation impose

In the beginning, we are all but one. Good is bad and bad is good. We are all one and the same. Panjia. This process is heavy on my body and soul. But I need to do it, and I only hope that my efforts will be accepted.  I have enough juice left for one journey. I need to make the most of it.  I light up my pipe. "This time will be a bit different," I say to myself with a tired grimace, "a bit grimmer". I lie down and look up. I take a dive.  Inhale I look deep into my memory. I feel my mind drifting.  I see myself on a horseback. My skin as soft as butter and my soul unburdened. I am a newborn. I extend my hand and touch the horse's mane. I can not see it but we are connected. I look up and see a man riding the horse. Young and powerful he is. He looks at me and I meet his eyes, as black as a moonless night. I guess we all have the same eyes where I come from. I let myself sucked into his eyes and feel the infinite night surround me until there's nothing but

Let the time come and go freely. It is but a construct of your soul to protect you, to remind you of your limits, what you can do, and what you shouldn't do. Give it its freedom and it shall give you yours. I thank you for indulging and hope this journey will be less arduous than its predecessors.  Inhale I look deep into my memory and I see myself. I see myself lying down a tree. It is nice to be able to enjoy the shade after a day's work. I have no worries. My world has ended and I am lying on top of its rubble. If I have survived this long, it only goes to show that my survival is inevitable. I fear nothing and no one. I think about nothing and no one. My mind is as present as it is absent. I think I have reached it. The state my master always spoke of. Panjia. I like myself at this moment. "I'm in good shape" I tell myself. Nothing can get to me.  It doesn't take me long to notice that I've fallen into my own trap. My hubris was lurking just below the

So, since when have you known him? Since when do I know him? I've known him since he was born. Longer than that actually, I've known him since long before. We share a union sealed in the old ways. In a way, our bond is limitless. I've waited for him to get to this world for a hundred moons, and I suspect he's waited for me for a while himself. The day he was born, I was almost as close to him as his mother. His first heartbeat was the sound of my liberty. He drew breath and my lungs expanded, He cried and I listened with the utmost joy. I've been by his side for so long that there is nobody else in my mind but him. I was consumed by him, devoured, obliterated, my being annihilated by him. Those days, our relationship was a most peculiar one.  How was your relationship with him on his first days? It is not easy to put into words what is not meant to be described. Our relationship is not meant for words or poems. A language can not encompass us. He

Shall we resume? Of course. What would you like to know next? Your description of your relationship with Nile confuses me. Do you wish him well or ill? I see why you would be confused. It is a subtle notion to wrap your head around.  You see. I was created and I exist solely because the woman wished misery upon him. My presence in itself is the seal to that misery. As long as I am by his side, He will never know joy.  However, I am, for all intents and purposes, alive. And incumbent upon that is free will. I do have a soul and I am free to think and feel, and to some extent, even act, freely. You see, his misery is not caused by something I do. It is caused by my mere existence. That must be a difficult situation for you, to cause such pain to the one you love  Indeed it is. and it is truly my greatest regret. I'd give my life in a heartbeat to see his smile. I've never seen it. Why don't you do that? forgive me if it is too confrontational